THE GUEST LIST OF YOUR WEDDING
The expression that I use the most in the last couple of weeks with my brides is: ONLY GOOD INTENTIONS!
The almost-married couples that contact me for a consultation on their wedding are different from one another. Sometimes I deal with couples whose bride is very organised and experienced and only needs some suggestions and help; other times, I have to take charge of the whole organisation, as the couple wants to stress as little as possible. However, in both cases, the couple faces the renowned and difficult wedding guest list!
Broadly, the future groom can list it in one hour (mum, dad, brother, uncle, grandmother and friends, friends, friends and other friends), whereas the bride needs more time. The more hours pass, the more the list gets long. Proportionally to the list, the the GUEST-LIST STRESS increases.
Of course, because it is only then that you realise:
That you have a never-ending amount of relatives, that your grandmother’s brother’s cousin had invited you to his wedding when you were two years old (and that you don’t even remember how he looks like because you’ve never seen each other since then) and your grandmother might get offended if you didn’t invite him.
That you and Patrizia, your kinder garden classmate that now lives in Milan and with whom you have not kept in touch since the last day of kinder garden, have promised each other “even though we might not be in touch, one day one will be at the wedding of the other!”
That women are very strong in interpersonal relationships and in every phase of our life we change friend groups but we would love to see all our friends at our wedding – also because we’d like to avoid to offend of disappoint anyone on the day of our wedding!
Precisely at this time, I receive a help request from the bride. List after list, I have developed a method to edit the list without stress and I’ve called it: “ONLY GOOD INTENTIONS!”.
Yes, because getting ready with a positive mood is essential to get good results.
What is the method “ONLY GOOD INTENTIONS” about? Let me tell you.
What does relax you? A shower? A sunset? Cooking?
Who does relax you? Your mum? Your best friend? Your pet?
Relax in your favourite way and… let’s get started!
Take a blank paper and write very clearly “guests to MY wedding” and put it in front of you.
The wedding is YOUR wedding! Don’t forget this fundamental thing.
Since when you were two-months old, to when you have finished kinder garden up to today, many things have changed. You’ve met a lot of people. Some have stayed next to you during every moment of your life. Others have entered your life and been part of it for a while: maybe they’ve been by your side during important times, but something has taken you apart. Others, you might have met them recently but already have great feelings for them and you feel like you’ve known them forever. The are relatives that you normally ignore and only meet at family meetings. Others, thank God they exists!
Don't wait to be happy to smile. But smile to be happy.
(Edward L. Krame)
Your wedding is now! Surround yourself with people that make you feel great and that make you laugh, those who match the way you are today!
Inevitably, some of you will have to include people from the past, old friendships, old relatives barely known etc. If that makes you feel good, do it. Everything that leaves you a good feeling in your heart must be done.
But don’t forget these steps:
- NO EXPECTATIONS:
You want to invite the kinder garden classmate, with whom you made that promise? DO IT! But don’t get disappointed if she won’t be able to come to your wedding. In the opposite case scenario, it will be awesome to see her again!
- NO OBLIGATIONS:
You want to invite the high school best friend, with whom you had a fight because you ignored her after you got engaged, just because you think she would do the same? Don’t think what she would do, think of what you want. You’re NOT obligated!
- SPECIAL CONSIDERATION:
Invite your grandmother’s brother’s cousin. She will be glad of your choice.
- SURPRISE EFFECT:
There will be someone supporting your wedding, repeating to you a thousand times “when you’ll get married, I want to be in the first row!” You will invite them and they will not show up.
And finally, the last advice I feel giving to any bride:
- LAUGH FROM YOUR HEART!
Laugh, if it rains and you thought to have an outdoor ceremony. Laugh, if the dress will have a crooked hem. Laugh, if you will wake up the day before with a spot on your nose. Laugh if, while exchanging the vows, one of you will say a wrong word…
Laugh and smile